Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Be on the look out...for giraffes

Here thar be giraffes.

I want to start by saying I normally use pictures I have taken myself for these articles. However,I do have eyes and ears all over the northern hemisphere. I receive hundreds of pictures each and every day from concerned citizens, sharing their encounters and helping me on my mission to make the truth known. Once in a while, somebody will send me evidence that is so startling, so terrifying, and so undeniable that it absolutely has to be discussed.

Study the above photograph closely. My dear friend Ron, who resides in New York City, sent this to me late last night. This picture was taken on the sidewalk in front of his apartment. To the casual observer, it would appear to just be a dirty, discarded splotch of gum on the sidewalk. On closer inspection, it is most obviously a warning of giraffe activity in the vicinity.

Should you see a mark like this anywhere you happen to be, you need to be very aware that you may be in real danger. A small faction of enlightened individuals, who operate in the utmost secrecy, have been using these subtle yet unmistakable warnings as a way of alerting those in the know that giraffes have been spotted nearby.

The best thing to do in a situation where you see one of these symbols is to run, don't walk to safety. Your very life may depend on it. If you do choose to ignore the warning that a small band of brave rebels has nobly risked their lives to post, you'll probably be eaten. And while I do so love being right, especially when it means somebody else is wrong, I'd still hate to see anybody eaten if it can be avoided.

1 comment:

  1. Thanks for spreading the good word. Just steps away from this mark is a small park with very tall trees perfect for feeding giraffes. Also, in the mid-afternoon several toddlers and pre-school age children hit the park with their parents. I know that giraffes are lurking about hiding behind trees just waiting for a mom or dad to turn their watchful eye.

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